I have previously mentioned my admiration for speech competitions. I love the atmosphere, the people, the performances and everything in between. Well, my view of speech performances and the world itself has been turned on its head recently. My confidence and security has been shaken to its core, and I'm not sure if I will ever recover.
Let's travel back to that fateful day, Saturday February, 4th at 12:20 PM, when it all began. We were at Washington high school at the state speech competition. I had performed earlier in the day, a poor showing, and had received two I ratings and a II. It was upsetting, but it was deserved. Now I was able to redeem myself in improv and there was a good chance that I could All-State. Before I knew it we were drawing situations and our planning had begun. Shane, Andrew, and I were scrambling for a topic and Shane confidently chose his and we stepped back to brainstorm. The topic drawn was something closely along the lines of "Singing the blues, but you are too happy." We came up with a twist, being that we were on the show Blue's Clues, and the premise was that we would start out singing, and then be bombarded by all of the different characters from the show like Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper, the Handy-Dandy Notebook, and the Mailbox. Granted, it was a fairly twisted plot but that was part of what made the whole thing so funny. By the end of our improv we had members of the audience in tears and we were recieved with an uproar at the finale of our performence. We then stepped out into the hall to be congratulated and accept the compliments of friends, family, and several complete strangers. It was an exhilerating feeling and I couldn't be more confident in our ability to get a straight I rating and unanimously move on to all state. That's where I went wrong.
After my high faded away and I was finally able to, with all of my performances over with, wander about and watch the various other acts. I wasn't too woried about our ratings because, as I said, the improv was a hit and there was really no reason for there to be a doubt in my mind. However, destiny had a different plan. Destiny came dressed that day as an old, cinical woman named Roberta Alnamy. As it turns out, Roberta found our twist to be unappealing and that it strayed a little too far from the cookie-cutter-improv I am sure she is so fond of. To put it bluntly, she gave us a II. I knew that the scenario had to have been a part of her judgement but I was also interested in what else she had found wrong with the improv, because surely no person would ever assign a two rating with only a single criticism? Nope. She would. When I finally read her ballot I was shocked to find that the lone criticism was of the fact that we strayed from the situation. Because of one woman's close-mindedness, it is possible the one of the, if not the, best improv groups in the state will not advance to the all-state competition. This is why the ballot of Roberta Alnamy is the biggest travesty in all of American history and she herself is the most putrid woman to walk the face of the earth.
Let's travel back to that fateful day, Saturday February, 4th at 12:20 PM, when it all began. We were at Washington high school at the state speech competition. I had performed earlier in the day, a poor showing, and had received two I ratings and a II. It was upsetting, but it was deserved. Now I was able to redeem myself in improv and there was a good chance that I could All-State. Before I knew it we were drawing situations and our planning had begun. Shane, Andrew, and I were scrambling for a topic and Shane confidently chose his and we stepped back to brainstorm. The topic drawn was something closely along the lines of "Singing the blues, but you are too happy." We came up with a twist, being that we were on the show Blue's Clues, and the premise was that we would start out singing, and then be bombarded by all of the different characters from the show like Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper, the Handy-Dandy Notebook, and the Mailbox. Granted, it was a fairly twisted plot but that was part of what made the whole thing so funny. By the end of our improv we had members of the audience in tears and we were recieved with an uproar at the finale of our performence. We then stepped out into the hall to be congratulated and accept the compliments of friends, family, and several complete strangers. It was an exhilerating feeling and I couldn't be more confident in our ability to get a straight I rating and unanimously move on to all state. That's where I went wrong.
After my high faded away and I was finally able to, with all of my performances over with, wander about and watch the various other acts. I wasn't too woried about our ratings because, as I said, the improv was a hit and there was really no reason for there to be a doubt in my mind. However, destiny had a different plan. Destiny came dressed that day as an old, cinical woman named Roberta Alnamy. As it turns out, Roberta found our twist to be unappealing and that it strayed a little too far from the cookie-cutter-improv I am sure she is so fond of. To put it bluntly, she gave us a II. I knew that the scenario had to have been a part of her judgement but I was also interested in what else she had found wrong with the improv, because surely no person would ever assign a two rating with only a single criticism? Nope. She would. When I finally read her ballot I was shocked to find that the lone criticism was of the fact that we strayed from the situation. Because of one woman's close-mindedness, it is possible the one of the, if not the, best improv groups in the state will not advance to the all-state competition. This is why the ballot of Roberta Alnamy is the biggest travesty in all of American history and she herself is the most putrid woman to walk the face of the earth.
Above is an accurate depiction of the grimmace that permanently occupies Ms. Alnamy's grotesque face.
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